I am the Way, the Truth and the Life - Jesus

Resilient Grieving

I spent Friday at the Sands Conference in Tauranga.  The main speaker was a woman Dr Lucy Hone who is an expert in resilience, the ability of people to manage after trauma.  She had been invovled in helpign the people of Christchurch recover after the earthquakes.  Tragically Lucy lost her 12 year old daughter a few years ago in a car accident.  She has since been asking herself, 'can I use anything that I have learnt in resilience study to help me manage my grief."  Lucy has found that there are actually a lot of resources that she has come across in her study that have helped her in her personal life.  I'm busy reading her book "Resiliant Grieving."  but I thought I'd share with you just a few of her ideas.  I'll just mention the 6 strategies she names that helped her in the immediate aftermath.  1 There are no rules, do what you need to do, for Lucy this included not going near the court process.  2 Choose where you focus your attention, you will have some ability to choose, Lucy choose to ask, "Is this likley to help or to harm our recovery?'  3. Take your time. This was particularly about having abit of time with her daughter at home before the funeral.  4. Feel the pain: walk right in feel it and weep. You can't do this all the time, but Lucy talked about facing the grief and starting that incredibly slow journey to accepting.  5. Beware the grief ambush.  Just be aware that sometimes you will go somewhere and suddenly you will be overwheled with grief, and that's OK.  6. Re-establish routines. When you can start doing some basic ordinary thigns again, they help the mind to start to recover.  

Lucy isn't a Christian, but you can see traces of Grace in her work, her Blog if you are interested. http://1wildandpreciouslife.com/
Her book has been republished as  "Resilient Grieving." by Dr Lucy Hone.  Allen and Unwin.  2016.  Auckland  ISBN 978 1 760296 99 5

 

   


Author: Simon McLeay
Date Published: June 2019

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